Week 8, 2016

Updated 2016 goals:
#1 Let go of fear, let go of feeling not good enough.
#2 Take better care of my body.
#3 300 days of yoga!
#4 Do more of what I love.

Week 6, 2016

I missed week 5 which held a dinner party.
This week I helped to entertain work peeps in town from India, grabbed my highest score yet at Flywheel  (269), and took myself to urgent care for some stitches (boo).

Week 4, 2016 - Home and Goal Update

I am home, still sad, but at some point I will no longer be the girl holding back  tears on the morning bus.
I have been working on my Let It Go mantra, which has acquired a Frozen hum along tune. I have not been successful in loosing weight, but the Flywheel classes and post class friend time have been good for the soul. Wednesday was my first top 10 class, and Friday I broke 250 (power). The stats and small improvements keep me motivated.
Added some vitamin D and yoga today. The pose I would like to master this year is dancer. I am also adding a goal of 300 days of yoga in 2016. Even just 15 minutes a day.
I'm out to make this a positive year. ♡

Week 3, 2016 - Traveling to Alaska

Traveled to Alaska for grandma's funeral. Sad occasion, but nice to see so many family members together at one time. ♡

Week 2, 2016

Drank some champagne, went to 3 Flywheel classes. Ate healthfully, but neglected my sleep. Invited a bunch of people to a party, made plans for the upcoming trip to AK, cleaned the oven (gross).
Missed my honey.

Week 1, 2016 - Doubts and Goals

I think I have reached the end of my tolerance for being away from David, and yet we have 12 more weeks to go. One Day at a Time.
So, what to leave behind in 2015, and what to carry on?
I would like to leave behind doubt. Guilt. That question of am I good enough? I don't need to be anything more than who I am. That is enough. There are always those better, and I will continue to make mistakes, be too casual, too excited, and say the wrong thing. But when that happens, I would like to work on letting the haunting doubt go. Just let it go.
In that same vein, I have vowed to be healthier and to take better care of myself for YEARS now. Perhaps I should put some work toward that. Stop trying to fill doubt, emptiness, and anxiety with food. Spend more time outside.
My goal for this year is to push outside of comfort zones. These should do. :)

Gratitude 05/26/2015

I don't know when it happened, maybe just this year, but I am good. I am happy. I just want to write it down. Dump it all out, remember it, know that I have been here.

Yes, life has been stressful - well, scratch that, work has been busy and stressful. D isn't sure what is happening with his job, and lord knows I have been trying to lose weight and that is just not working out for me.

But you know what? That is all ok.

I think it started when I booked a trip to Patagonia. And then put down a deposit and registered for the 2018 Antarctica Marathon. I started planning where my other 5 marathons will take me... realizing that I can do this for myself, and that travel is where my heart is.

-But more than that, daily life is good. I have friends to hike with, friends that challenge me, friends that will run last minute races with me, friends to explore with.

Two weekends ago I went to visit a friend in San Fran. It was a quick trip, in Friday night, home Sunday afternoon. Sunday happened to also be the Bay2Breakers 12k. My friend Heather from Alaska was going to be in town for the race, so I signed up the day before, took a 5:30 am taxi to her hotel, we ran, saw the city sights - and oh the naked men! Lol! We jumped in someone else's taxi, to claim it once they were done! I raced to the airport, changed my shirt in the boarding area and hopped on the plane - it was a wild day, one that made me so happy because I took a chance, took an opportunity, and got to spend some time with my best girls! ♡♡♡

But this is my life right now. I don't know how I got here, I clearly remember being miserable in my 20s, but this is so different and so very good!

I bought a bikini. And I am going to wear it. Yep. And I am not going to be shy about it. Because if not now, then when? This is what I look like!

Last weekend I hauled my ass up a damn crazy mountain. Next weekend I will find another. The weekend after that will bring my 3rd DC test, which I hope to pass. Yes, I will sweat over it, but damn it, I have put in the work!  :)

Today I took my bike in for a tune up. It is light in the mornings, time to commute by bike! ♡ While at REI I ran into a friend I haven't seen in maybe almost 10 years? I have lived in one place long enough to run in to friends, hopefully we will hike together, but it just made me happy to see her.

November

I am listening and I might even be catching on….
Family health concerns lead to diet plans for birthday gifts, and I will be honest, it made my heart hurt.  I have forgiven childhood issues and tried to move on, but the past has certainly hurt my present and I just don’t want to play along the same pattern lines anylonger.

So!  I am noticing gym time, how often I go even when I have had a long day, how great I feel after a tough workout!  I am complimenting my love for being so patient with me during lifting sessions.  I am listening to sound advice, making healthy choices to spend more time, to have more time with those that I LOVE.

I am choosing not to spend Thanksgiving with my parents,  I am letting myself pick something healthier.  I am not looking for love, I am loving myself.  I am going to yoga, reading a book, taking pictures.  I am working on 2014 goals!
I might make some mistakes along the way, but I feel like I am making progress, like I an on the right path - I am feeling hopeful!

November

Today was one of the hardest days I have ever experienced in a professional capacity. 
This is a note to remember that sometimes you fail, sometimes you make mistakes even when you have the very best intentions.   And that is ok.  It is hurting my heart right now, but I keep telling myself that life is not about what happens; how you deal with situations is what really defines you. 
I am going to learn from this as much as I can.  Henceforth I am treating my professional life like marathon training!  I can handle being uncomfortable and uncertain.  I am smart and capable and can learn and grow.

January

Training starts on 03/01 for my first ultra (49k on 08/17 in Anchorage, AK).  But in the meantime I have a Tough Mudder planned at the end of April in Vegas, the Seattle Rock & Roll Marathon at the end of June, and a half in Anchorage at the end of July.
Lots of travel and running planned!  ♥
I am also looking for my next distance - plans for my first ultra marathon in 2015!  Anyone have any good 50 miler recommendations?   :)

February

It's time for bed. 
Bed because today was a lot to handle in one day: one of my team gave her notice, and my partner got laid off today.
Yep, that's a big day.
I am really hoping that I can lump in the sprained ankle,  call that the three strikes and be done with it.  Because Wednesday at 8am I am taking my 7th test required for work, and I am terribly nervous. 

So instead of fretting,  I am going to tell a secret.   I am dreaming of a 100 mile run. It's mad I know, but as they say, if your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough.   This year I am running my first ultra (49k or just over 30 miles).  Next year. I hope to run 50 miles, and after that??? Well, we'll see where my big dreams can carry me.  :)  Yes, this is a much nicer focus for the day. 

Night night!

March

I had acupuncture and a massage today - trying everything I possibly can to get back to training. 
I should have taken a pic of the pin sticking out of my forehead. lol... instead I will give you food prep.  :)
The tough mudder at the end of April is coming up fast, I am telling my ankle to chop chop lollipop,  we've got some miles to run!

March

Today I didn't come anywhere near the 20 miles on my training plan, but I am so thankful for the 5 miles that I was able to do!  I feel like I am starting to figure out what is going on with my left foot/ankle/calf and it is getting better!
Excited to be running again!

April

BUSY season at work: training 3 new people/test retake on Saturday/client visit next week/upcoming work trip the first week of May;. PLUS *Tough Mudder* just sent our start time for Sunday!!! 04/27/2014 is going to be an awesome day! 
Right now I am tackling one day at a time and really looking forward to that one - there is nothing like accomplishing big goals!

June

10 miles + a 26 mile bike ride with friends was the plan for the day.  I added stairs, because I felt guilty for not doing the 13 miles on my training plan….. when I got home I saw pictures on Facebook of Alaska friends preparing for tomorrow’s tri so I googled the distance:
.93 mile swim
25 mile bike ride
and 6.2 mile run

Whoa.  I keep thinking that I am not doing enough training for the ultra in August,  but then I keep stumbling into awesome days like this!

Life

I do this thing when personally challenged, I fight.

Sometimes my persistence is my best quality, allowing me to run my first ultra in 5:50 with a bruised heel bone. But as sometimes this attribute causes me to struggle within myself - do I give in or not, what is the best couse of action?

What would you do if you felt like your staff was being attacked and your job drastically changing?  Do I rise to the occasion?  Or do I stand my ground and fight for what I belive in?

This is always a tough call for me, and inevitably when I wish for a life manual.

2015: Week 9

Though sick all week, I snuck out of the house and warm bed for an early am 5k on Sunday.  :)  It was easily the highlight of my week because really, it is an awesome thing to have a friend willing to run a 5k with you at 6:45 in the morning.  :)

Gratitude 03/02/2015

Today I wandered through some of my favorite Seattle spots. Laughed to myself remembering my third date with David (he took me to the Market Theater for an improv show, the lights were low and I promptly tumbled down the stairs getting to our seats!  Who knows why he asked for a fourth date).  :)
I bought half of a red papaya for desert, it was delicious!
Some mango suckers covered in chille and some pinapple mint tea that may now be my favorite tea.
It was sunny, the pictures turned out beautifully, the afternoon just made me happy.

2015: Week 8

This week was brimming with stress, so I took time to do things I love:
• I explored a park I hadn't been to before
• Walked home at sunset for a view from the bridge
• Applied for TSA pre-check (no more long line!)
• Took myself to a fancy spa with a groupon
• Put a deposit down on a 2018 Adventure!  Lol... talk about planning ahead!

2015: Week 7

Headstand on laundry day.
A fancy  haircut.
New hiking shoes.
Flowers and romance on valentine's day.