Gratitude 05/26/2015

I don't know when it happened, maybe just this year, but I am good. I am happy. I just want to write it down. Dump it all out, remember it, know that I have been here.

Yes, life has been stressful - well, scratch that, work has been busy and stressful. D isn't sure what is happening with his job, and lord knows I have been trying to lose weight and that is just not working out for me.

But you know what? That is all ok.

I think it started when I booked a trip to Patagonia. And then put down a deposit and registered for the 2018 Antarctica Marathon. I started planning where my other 5 marathons will take me... realizing that I can do this for myself, and that travel is where my heart is.

-But more than that, daily life is good. I have friends to hike with, friends that challenge me, friends that will run last minute races with me, friends to explore with.

Two weekends ago I went to visit a friend in San Fran. It was a quick trip, in Friday night, home Sunday afternoon. Sunday happened to also be the Bay2Breakers 12k. My friend Heather from Alaska was going to be in town for the race, so I signed up the day before, took a 5:30 am taxi to her hotel, we ran, saw the city sights - and oh the naked men! Lol! We jumped in someone else's taxi, to claim it once they were done! I raced to the airport, changed my shirt in the boarding area and hopped on the plane - it was a wild day, one that made me so happy because I took a chance, took an opportunity, and got to spend some time with my best girls! ♡♡♡

But this is my life right now. I don't know how I got here, I clearly remember being miserable in my 20s, but this is so different and so very good!

I bought a bikini. And I am going to wear it. Yep. And I am not going to be shy about it. Because if not now, then when? This is what I look like!

Last weekend I hauled my ass up a damn crazy mountain. Next weekend I will find another. The weekend after that will bring my 3rd DC test, which I hope to pass. Yes, I will sweat over it, but damn it, I have put in the work!  :)

Today I took my bike in for a tune up. It is light in the mornings, time to commute by bike! ♡ While at REI I ran into a friend I haven't seen in maybe almost 10 years? I have lived in one place long enough to run in to friends, hopefully we will hike together, but it just made me happy to see her.

November

I am listening and I might even be catching on….
Family health concerns lead to diet plans for birthday gifts, and I will be honest, it made my heart hurt.  I have forgiven childhood issues and tried to move on, but the past has certainly hurt my present and I just don’t want to play along the same pattern lines anylonger.

So!  I am noticing gym time, how often I go even when I have had a long day, how great I feel after a tough workout!  I am complimenting my love for being so patient with me during lifting sessions.  I am listening to sound advice, making healthy choices to spend more time, to have more time with those that I LOVE.

I am choosing not to spend Thanksgiving with my parents,  I am letting myself pick something healthier.  I am not looking for love, I am loving myself.  I am going to yoga, reading a book, taking pictures.  I am working on 2014 goals!
I might make some mistakes along the way, but I feel like I am making progress, like I an on the right path - I am feeling hopeful!

November

Today was one of the hardest days I have ever experienced in a professional capacity. 
This is a note to remember that sometimes you fail, sometimes you make mistakes even when you have the very best intentions.   And that is ok.  It is hurting my heart right now, but I keep telling myself that life is not about what happens; how you deal with situations is what really defines you. 
I am going to learn from this as much as I can.  Henceforth I am treating my professional life like marathon training!  I can handle being uncomfortable and uncertain.  I am smart and capable and can learn and grow.