Sunday, October 9, 2011

Frustrated

After such a great weekend (dinner party - now a huge fan of cranium, what a fun game!) I am still feeling like I have a ton on my mind.
I have been working out with a trainer for a month and a half.  Running at 5 am not every day, but several times a week.  I have cut my diet, increased protein and weight lifting, been pretty good about calorie tracking, and I haven't lost a pound.  Sure, I've gained some muscle tone, but I'm not seeing any great results. 
I have let myself quit this 'battle' so many times over the last three years. It is hard to keep trying because while I remember losing the first 80, I am having a really hard time doing it again. 
Maybe it is fear of the unknown, fear of not being loved even after all of that work.  I have been told that I should want to do this for my health, to take care of myself, and even that seems hard.  Maybe what is holding me back is all in my head, but I am still here trying.
Goals for the week of 10/10:
Workout with a new trainer three times this week
Three additional gym /cardio sessions
Take a yoga class
Pumpkin farm with friends this weekend, remember to take pictures!

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